Bazal Talk

I recently made a delicious tomato, basil, mozzarella salad, a.k.a. Caprese. I make my tomato, basil, mozzarella salad (TBMS) a bit differently than most – well, that is what I am guessing. I haven’t made this salad for many people outside my family, but I was told by my friend that she had never seen a TBMS made the way that I make it. It's quite simple. Put a few pieces of lettuce (I prefer bibb lettuce) on a platter. This serves as your bed of lettuce (go figure). I slice my tomatoes about 1/3 of an inch thick, my mozzarella about 1/4 of an inch thick, and my red onion is sliced very thin. I arrange the ingredients in a circle on the bed of lettuce in the following fashion: tomato, mozzarella, red onion and repeat. It's very simple. I then take my fresh basil and roughly chop it so becomes a sort-of basil confetti. I sprinkle the basil in no particular fashion on top of the salad. I dress my salad with extra virgin olive oil and balsamic vinegar that is blended with a hint of Dijon mustard. I'm not sure how this salad could be made differently – maybe chopped and mixed together?

So I made this salad to bring to a barbeque with close family friends on Saturday. The salad was a huge hit, was completely eaten, and became the topic of the entire dinner conversation. Let me first set the stage as to how this conversation started. I was (aside from my family) the youngest person at this barbeque by 60 years. Needless to say, I was not only a guest, but also played the role of the host, a server and dish washer as this wasn't the most mobile and self-sufficient crowd.

It all began with this woman, who for purposes of illustration is a cross between Holly Golightly (Breakfast At Tiffany’s), Madeline Albright and maybe even Queen Elizabeth. She is a bit of a royal, somewhat flighty, intellectual snob – just a royal pain in the arse actually.

So I am sitting at the picnic table savoring in my TBMS goodness when Holiness Golightly-Albright asks for more Caprese. Of course having to bow and oblige, my first thought is what the heck is Caprese? Thinking that this might be just an Alzheimer's moment, I glance at her plate for a crumb of a hint left by some higher power of what might be Caprese. Saved by a few red onion remains, I conclude that this woman must mean the TBMS and I regretfully inform her that there isn't any TBMS left.

Still completely confused as to what Caprese is, I get back to my own TBMS. No sooner after another forkful am I interrupted again by her Royalness asking, "where can I get his bazal." Bazal? Bazal. Bazal…

Just when I am about to ask her if she means the basil, the next character chimes in, "What the hell is this bazal you speak of and is it on my plate?" For purposes of this illustration, this character is best described as an 80 year old, 6’7’’ man who has a size 20 shoe, no sense of balance (despite having cruise line piers for feet) and who doesn't sensor anything he says. We will call him Bill. I say this in the most endearing manner – this man is a close family friend and I respect and love him dearly.

So Ms. Golightly-Albright pipes in, "it’s that most deliciously fresh and fragment herb in your Caprese." Confusing Bill even further by this Caprese comment, Bill says, "I have never heard of bazal. Where can I get this bazal? Now, everyone at the table is doing there best not to laugh, but someone finally says, "Bill, it's basil!!"

The night passed with fewer incidents or comedy, and after getting everyone to bed (I'm kidding), I ventured home to look up Caprese and the pronunciations of basil. Caprese is, according to my sources, a simple salad consisting of fresh tomatoes, basil and mozzarella. Bazal, is no such thing. It's basil – pronounced basil. So does Madeline Golightly-Albright have a more sophisticated tongue and is pronouncing basil in Italian, or is bazal just an affectation?

Is my basil to her bazal, my tomato to her tamato? Or is my Demi Moore her Demeeee Moore? Whether it is an affectation or a sign of a more seasoned palate, it certainly took away from the very simple TBMS. Once again, place the tomato, mozzarella, and red onion on the bed of lettuce and repeat!

Until next time...